


You Are My Home

by chonkadonk



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life, Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Domestic, Fluff, Letters, Love Letters, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:41:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29923935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chonkadonk/pseuds/chonkadonk
Summary: when words become too difficult, gordon writes benrey a letter
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Kudos: 35





	You Are My Home

**Author's Note:**

> HEAVILY based on rp interactions with a friend's benrey, but some things have been edited to be less specific. darcy is gordon's service dog and dew is benrey's kitten

Benrey,

I’ve been sitting here for a while now trying to figure out the best way to start this. I guess the first thing I want to say is that all of these letters that you’ve written have meant the world to me. And I want to make one thing very clear from the beginning: I was married for nearly a decade, Benrey, and my ex-wife is a lovely, wonderful person who is one of my best friends, but I have  _ never _ felt as loved as I do when I’m with you.

Benrey, you talk about home, and when you say that my immediate thoughts are those of our quiet nights spent in bed, with you playing your games and me reading. I think about all of the dumb shit we’ve said to each other (did you know the neighbors have a list? these walls really are paper thin) and have laughed over. I think of the times we’ve cried and hugged and kissed and just existed together. I think of the weeks where we have Joshua and I fall in love all over again watching you take to him like he’s your own son. I think of Darcy and Dew. I think of you.

_ You _ are home to me, Ben. It’s the greatest feeling in the world. I’m glad that I can be the same for you.

It’s funny, in a way. I thought, in those last moments on Xen, that I would be glad to never see your face again after everything. But then you came back, and... I was glad. Excited, even. And I think that was when  _ I _ realized that I was in too deep. Maybe I didn’t realize what those feelings were at the time, but I knew that I felt some kind of way about you, even despite everything.

You make me laugh, Ben. You make me smile. You make the world feel a little less dreary and a little less gray. Sometimes, I worry that I don’t do enough to let you know how much you mean to me. As light as your letters make my heart feel, it also makes me realize that maybe I’m not doing what I should be to let you know how much you’ve done for me.

Ben. You make me want to keep going. To keep pushing myself to do better,  _ be _ better. I already tried to do that for Joshua, but I feel like I let myself stagnate; I was good enough to raise him, certainly better than my dad. But with you! You make me feel like I can be so much more, like I  _ am _ so much more! You make it feel like it’s worth it to keep trying.

I want to make you a promise, Ben. I  _ promise _ you that you are doing more for me than I could probably ever really make known. I felt so... hollow, empty the past few years. You’ve started to fill that emptiness. I  _ promise _ that you make me feel so, so loved. I feel like the luckiest man in the world most days (yes, even on the days where you aim to annoy the living hell out of me.) I  _ promise _ that you have shown yourself to be someone just as amazing as you see me. The man who I share my bed with is absolutely not the same one who stopped me for my  _ fucking _ passport what feels like an eternity ago.

When I’m at my lowest points, Ben, you always manage to get me to crack a smile. When I’m doubting myself... I never doubt you. Never you.

I love you, Benrey. I’m happy that you’re my person, too.

Gordon


End file.
